Friday, December 08, 2006


They pieced it together,
Over several days,
And intense scrutiny of CCTV.
After all,
I deliberately chose to be on camera.
Tracked me down to this fleapit bed-sit
Where I’ve waited, waited, waited.
They find the cut throat razor,
In a box, on a bookcase,
Amongst tomes on serial killers etc.
They take me away.
Why? Why that individual?
They repeatedly inquire,
They ask and ask and ask.
I tell them,
That individual wore green trousers,
Or jostled me, but didn’t say sorry,
Or smelt funny,
Or belched,
Or looked me in the eye,
Or because I could.
I could, walk up behind them,
Put cold razor steel against their neck,
Pull back sharp, and walk on.
I refrain from saying ‘move along’.
So I have my day in court,
After passing a psych test,
I plead guilty, not insanity,
I collect my punishment.
I hope for my reward,
Only hope though.
This is the weakest point of my plan,
The part where meticulous planning can fail,
I chose my crime, I chose my location,
But cannot choose where they send me.
I chose right, they send me to a certain place,
Full of similar criminal minds,
A flaw in the system really,
But my reward, to be placed,
In a place, that already contains,
The monster,
Which raped and murdered my child.

Revenge will be my reward.


Echo said...

And what? Then another where the knife becomes sharper instead of duller and revenge becomes a habit and anger becomes mundane?

Inconsequential said...

hmm, a sort of vigilante continuation...

nah, just one revenge, served long cold. An eye for An eye :)
though, that would imply more than just straight forward killing revenge....

Inconsequential said...

think it needs a bit of touching up though, as i just typed it up, rather than scribble it first...

Anonymous said...

You unpeal a window into this man's mind with a sharp razor. You're a natural narrator. I love the way the motive pops out at the end like an exposed artery. Thanks for coming back at this story.

Molly Bloom said...

I enjoyed the first and this one too Inc.

Can you read my e-mail re Dem please? I hope he is ok.

Anonymous said...

Chilling and has truth like a sharp bone.

Inconsequential said...

Ish - I have to say i'm not happy with it...

It needs some tweaks.

but the basic info i wanted is there, so i guess i shouldn't grumble.

i'm not too good at rushed jobs.
i usually take much longer than 20mins :)

Molly - thankyou :)
and yup, seen the Dem thing, it's a huge site though...shall grab pics then try for text. As he seems to mainly be arty/drawy I thought pics would be priority :)
I hope he doesn't quit though, he's been an inspiration, even though he doesn't know it, and a lot of the animalcide things are because of him and a comment or two made, I had no intention of killing so many :)

Yak Attacker said...

Well written. We are usually our own worst critic. I like it!

Jemima said...

A story brought to chilling life, I'm impressed, if a little scared.

Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

Interesting twist on the promt ... revenge in the form of punishment is it's own reward ... intense. JP

SimonHolyHoses said...

I love it when a plan comes together.