Friday, December 08, 2006

Sequel

.
They pieced it together,
Over several days,
And intense scrutiny of CCTV.
After all,
I deliberately chose to be on camera.
.
Tracked me down to this fleapit bed-sit
Where I’ve waited, waited, waited.
They find the cut throat razor,
In a box, on a bookcase,
Amongst tomes on serial killers etc.
They take me away.
.
Why? Why that individual?
They repeatedly inquire,
They ask and ask and ask.
.
I tell them,
That individual wore green trousers,
Or jostled me, but didn’t say sorry,
Or smelt funny,
Or belched,
Or looked me in the eye,
Or because I could.
.
I could, walk up behind them,
Put cold razor steel against their neck,
Pull back sharp, and walk on.
I refrain from saying ‘move along’.
.
So I have my day in court,
After passing a psych test,
I plead guilty, not insanity,
I collect my punishment.
I hope for my reward,
Only hope though.
.
This is the weakest point of my plan,
The part where meticulous planning can fail,
I chose my crime, I chose my location,
But cannot choose where they send me.
.
I chose right, they send me to a certain place,
Full of similar criminal minds,
A flaw in the system really,
But my reward, to be placed,
In a place, that already contains,
The monster,
Which raped and murdered my child.

Revenge will be my reward.
.

11 comments:

Echo said...

And what? Then another where the knife becomes sharper instead of duller and revenge becomes a habit and anger becomes mundane?

Inconsequential said...

hmm, a sort of vigilante continuation...

nah, just one revenge, served long cold. An eye for An eye :)
though, that would imply more than just straight forward killing revenge....

Inconsequential said...

think it needs a bit of touching up though, as i just typed it up, rather than scribble it first...

Anonymous said...

You unpeal a window into this man's mind with a sharp razor. You're a natural narrator. I love the way the motive pops out at the end like an exposed artery. Thanks for coming back at this story.

Molly Bloom said...

I enjoyed the first and this one too Inc.

Can you read my e-mail re Dem please? I hope he is ok.

Anonymous said...

Chilling and has truth like a sharp bone.

Inconsequential said...

Ish - I have to say i'm not happy with it...

It needs some tweaks.

but the basic info i wanted is there, so i guess i shouldn't grumble.

i'm not too good at rushed jobs.
i usually take much longer than 20mins :)


Molly - thankyou :)
and yup, seen the Dem thing, it's a huge site though...shall grab pics then try for text. As he seems to mainly be arty/drawy I thought pics would be priority :)
I hope he doesn't quit though, he's been an inspiration, even though he doesn't know it, and a lot of the animalcide things are because of him and a comment or two made, I had no intention of killing so many :)

Yak Attacker said...

Well written. We are usually our own worst critic. I like it!
khambagirl
www.yakattack.typepad.com

Jemima said...

A story brought to chilling life, I'm impressed, if a little scared.

Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

Interesting twist on the promt ... revenge in the form of punishment is it's own reward ... intense. JP

SimonHolyHoses said...

I love it when a plan comes together.