Saturday, December 30, 2006

Destination

It takes six of my friends to place me in a car,
My journey begins, I am the passenger.
They drive so slowly!

Half way there, eternity of travel,
A stop off. Six lift me out.
They chat, speak, sing…c’mon, c’mon, hurry up!

It takes six of my friends to place me in a car,
My journey continues, I am the passenger.
They drive so slowly!!

At last we arrive! Six lift me out,
My new home awaits, six lower me down,
The “ashes…” door “dust…” closes.

18 comments:

Verity said...

I wasn't expecting that ending, and yet, it's the only one we can all expect! Well written poem.

pokerspice said...

Chilling. Very well written with an unexpected destination. Bravo!

paris parfait said...

A very unexpected take on the prompt. Well done, you!

Regina Clare Jane said...

Do you think it will really be that way? "My new home awaits..." I hope so. I hope we are just as eager to get there as we were to stay here!

AnnieElf said...

Amazing take on the topic. The second stanza had me at your final destination. You did not disappoint. Well conceived and well written. Annie

Echo said...

llllovely, can I come too?

Lisa said...

Very nicely done.

Janie Hickok Siess, Esq. said...

Wow. I didn't expect that ending. Very creative.

megnificent! said...

Dark, but I like your flow. I was with you, right from the beginning. Two thoughts; just curious, who are your six friends (pallbearers)?
#2; I'm curious about you being with your friends, at this point. It's interesting to be with them instead of "viewing" them...
Very interesting.

Inconsequential said...

Meg - alas, yes, the six would be the pallbearers, as i only actually have two friends...and i married one of them :)
as for the being with, rather than viewing...it just seemed right, after all a disembodied viewer doesn't have to hang around at their own funery service...hell, i know i wouldn't...dismal affairs - funerals...

Echo - if you wanna go to my funeral, you are very welcome :)
do you mind waiting a few years though? as i'd quite like to watch my daughter grow up...after that, i don't really care.

hundred and one said...

Very clever. a very unexpected ending. well done

Bongga Mom said...

Omigosh, what a great ending! love your poems

ish said...

Lots of spark for a death poem.

sarala said...

That is quite a destination. Is it safe to say Happy New Year after this?

Dr Anthony Donovan said...

Nice.

Rethabile said...

Got me with the ending, there. Brilliant approach.

Eleuktra Starsoft said...

Quite a flurry of excitement there!

Eleuktra Starsoft said...

Quite a flurry of excitement there!