Stay vs Go

My own free will put me here

No restraints keeping my neck

Upon a deeply grooved block

Whilst gleaming steel twinkles above

Suspending rope slowly eaten

By ever hungry candle flame

Testing my own determination

Desire for death over life

Go vs Stay

A test

Of my own determination

To die.

Perched on a barrel

Of dynamite and razor blades

A five minute fuse fizzing away

Query

Tick click clunk

Another reaction falls into place

No volition required

Commanded by surroundings

Actions caused by reaction by interaction

Buttons pushed, not pushing buttons

Who pressed go? on this game of life

What state will be achieved?

And what then?

Reset?

Or off…

Quitter IV

See them huddled

Just beyond boundary wall

A them to us -

Of which I’m neither.

Forbearing sufferance of a midnight drizzle

To practise their art

With little white sticks

Firmly clenched

Some hand made, some tailored straight

Sucking in great lungfuls

And exhaling clouds, like practising god-lings

Creating misty splendour in arc-lights' glow

.

Here I stand

Neither them or us

Fallen cast-out

Lost god-ling, a once was

This longing hurts

A cloud maker no more

Obsess

Night falls with a silent sigh

Soulless are we.
Twisting bones until they snap

Your heart beats no more.

Our dark thoughts surround us

How could you tear us asunder?
Devoured by your obsession.
All hope must sicken and die.

Observe

Promotion!

Joyful day!

No longer to sully your own hands

But use a lackey’s instead

Jobs you used to do in moments

Now take an age

As you instruct and they perform

And a performance it is

A most abstract art form

And the more bodies you have

The longer it all takes.

3x3

Make him run

Just for fun

With one lung

It's simple...

…

Got a wimple, with a crumple,

Stolen from a nun, during gospel,

Her outrage turned her purple,

Hardly fitting for god's pupil,

So a quick threat, with a scalpel,

Then I had to flee the temple,

Not like in a movie, and climb the steeple,

But across veggie patch did I trample,

And through some woods avoiding people,

Until I reached the old old maple,

And there I sat with my sample,

With its little rumple,

Until a man with chin of dimple,

And crimson pimple,

Said that it was ample,

To swap for his bright opal…

.

Gosh adventure games are simple…

Kangaroo

Hard to do

Western Grey Kangaroo

Choked with shoe

It Happens

Watch the angry man

See his rage pulling his strings

A mindless marionette thrashing air with tangled strings

Thrown about on stormy tides of fury

With beetroot face and heavy feet

Caricature of all angry men

Chuckle and laugh at him, but inwardly

For also

Beware the angry man

For all his amusing foolish flailing

It pays not to draw attention

Or get too near…

Journey Home

It drifts

Upon slow and sparkling waters

Past grassy banks and grazing sheep

Oblivious bovines and riverside rodents

Noticed by fishermen

Who reel in their lures

And wait in silence

Heads tilted respectfully

As it drifts past

Pushed by lazy current

Slow but steady

Onward

Seaward

Job and Knock

All done and dusted

Except we never dust

Rarely sweep

A chance to sit

Staff gone

Next shift not arrived

Waiting to hand over

A chance to reflect

A moment of self

Hope they’re early

I’m bored now…

Masked

Maybe

We want to shed

The masks

But you won’t let us

.

Maybe we show

Our true selves

Now and then

But go unseen

.

Maybe if we didn’t

Wear a mask

You’d make one

And staple it on

.

With pins through eyebrows

Hooks in mouth

Stapled to ears

And laugh at our protestations

Mask

It comes off now and then

And has a soap and rinse

To remove

Sweat and grime

Spittle and vomit

Dust and blood

To get patched up

From finger rakes

Painted nail gouges

It comes off now and then

But never for long

Fear and loathing

Hatred and spite

Place it back on

To face you all again

ThaKnows

Words

Conjoined

On which you will be

Judged

And sentence formed

Condemned

By your own

Left barren and wasted

To be built upon

In future tense

By words anew.

Go On

Staple your heart to my sleeve

So I can poke and prod

Stick pins in

Nibble gobbets

And throw it away

Half used

Abused

Unwanted

A Second Chance

A chance to take that fatal bullet

From her lolling head

Round removed

Route reversed

Returned to revolver

A chance again to see her animate

Not a seeping leaking mess

Flopped on the floor

A chance to try again

Maybe with knife or rope

Or just fists and feet

A second chance…

Quitter III - aka A position I'd almost trade...

White washed wall

Pitted and pocked

Thick wooden post

Just in front

A man stands

Tall and proud

Arms behind back

And firmly tied

Around that post

Another holds cigarette

To his lips

Black sack hood

Tucked under arm

inability to express

Do it again

Do it different

Don’t do it at all

Each doing is one shot

No second chance

Just again or different

That moment has gone...

Quitter II

I want a lover, wife and more

I want an income, a good one

I want a child, my immortality

I want a home, comforting and secure

I want friends, to trust and share with

But what I really want, desire, Need

Is a cigarette…

Are these not words of heresy ?

A cold one

Basking in his own warmth

Shunning perceived bigotry and lies

The great excuse

‘Not my fault, but will of higher being’

Put down to faith

Faith does not imply good

Faithless is not bad

Deeds are done by man

Actions and consequences

And man moves most mysteriously

Replace it with an old adage

‘If you want something doing…’

Creating a truer faith

Of self

Become

God

Some issues - well, three of many...

Sometimes a second chance would be good...

.

.

.

Global temperatures have risen

Consistently for 140 years

This change is linked

To greenhouse gas emissions

That have increased with industrialisation

And burning of fossil fuels.

Some areas will be warmer,

Some cooler,

Sea levels may rise,

Polar ice caps may melt,

Deserts might spread across Europe

And extreme weather events

May become more frequent.

Global temperature will rise

By as much as 6°C this century.

.

A person's global footprint

An amount of productive land

And sea needed to sustain their lifestyle.

Global footprints vary massively across nations.

For example in the UK,

The average footprint is 5.35 hectares,

In the US it is 9.70

And in Mozambique, just 0.47.

.

Habitat destruction is a danger to wildlife.

Habitat loss is harmful

Not only to a single kind of animal

Or plant

But to entire ecological communities.

There are few parts of the world

That have not been altered,

Damaged

Or destroyed.

Quitter!

Ineffable craving all from my mind

Physical addiction long faded

But triggers remain

When I wake

After a meal

After sex

Walking to work

Are now moments of loss

Of twitches and urgent desire

Minute by minute testing of will

Carry On

Black ol’ crow

On dusty verge

Watching traffic pass

Lurking in anticipation

Of road-kill lunch

Sky

Sky torn down
In fit of pique
Spasm

I
Am
Only man
Destroyer
Cannot put it back
But will bodge together
An approximation

The week that wasn’t

Watching flesh

Watching needle puncture flesh

Feel needle, watch flesh, feel flesh

See blood, my blood

My flesh needle blood

.

I dreamed a dream of déjà vu

Only to wake and find it true

.

It’s the shiny white one

Which tablet?

.

Laying on crisp white sheets

Dressed in combats black

A tube from lung

Preventing any action

.

It’s the shiny white one

Which tablet?

.

Patients with patience

Those who have been, seen, done

The whole routine

No point rushing

Or hurrying staff

.

They swarm

Those white clad ones

Some with red bits

Some with blue

But they still swarm

.

It’s the shiny white one

Which tablet?

.

Death suspends tea service

It’s a matter of priority

Apparently…

So no biscuit either

For a while

.

And why is the fat fuck here?

With their extensive knowledge of food

Of additives – fat – sugar – salt levels

So why are they here?

Scooting round like a shelled dalek

Mumbling fatitudes

To all who don’t want to listen

Squeezed tires protesting

At every turn of the wheel

Such knowledge smothered in ignorance

Must be their glands

.

Which tablet?

.

It’s the shiny white one

Which tablet?

.

Of all the places

For the dark to rise again

Seething hatred for man kindred

Laying amongst whining suffering

My soulless heart lashes in silence

A phrase reverberates

They shoot horses…

.

Centre of their own universes

Each one, be all and end all

Vying for limited resources

Loudest gets most

From the swarm

.

A stereotype! No! Really?

Yes, a stereotype – the gay/camp

Male nurse

.

Ok ok

It’s the shiny white one

Thank you

.

Let me out

Please…

Borderland

I love religion

And war

And bigotry

And greed envy hate

All evils of men

I love them all

Embrace them

As lovers will

For my love of these

Sets my boundaries

Allows me to

Push against them

To grow

Expand

My

Self

And

Eventually

Let them die

As old flames sink to embers

And a final

Waft of smoke

Freedom

To grow

In spirit

Without lies

Hate

Greed

Etc

Too big for me

It moves
Like heart beating
Measuring marking
Gaia’s steady pulse

Swells and troughs
Wind horses dance

Wave after wave
Of crashing foam
Frothing forth across
Salt slick rocks

Dignity

Ignore the man

Behind the curtain

A wizard he is not

Lord Vader he is not

Just an old old man

On a commode

Another Feather

Another feather
Flutters and falls
From fingers
Fickle and cruel
That pull or pluck
Twist and tug
Till wings
Are stripped and bare
But that’s what lovers do
Bind and clip
With innocent joy

One Weak Lung

A wasted week
Flat on back
Propped on pillows
Wheeled in chair

No words written
Too much noise
Machines ping pinging
People cough coughing

Poked and prodded
At random times
But told nothing
A week wasted

Free of Derision

Sip 27 swallow
Sip 28 swallow
Sip 29 swallow
School – red brick – tan and white corridors
Face pushed down on gritty tarmac
As lunchbox is raided and pockets emptied
Repetitive lessons from bored teachers
Sip 42 swallow
Sip 43 swallow
Sip 44 swallow
College – glass and chrome – blue corridors
Full of groups, but never involved
Quietly shunned absentmindedly ignored
Repetitive lessons from bored tutors
Sip 61 swallow
Sip 62 swallow
Sip 63 swallow
Work – grey breezeblock – grey corridors
Bitching and backstabbing of office politics
Head down and grafting, but put upon
Used repetitively for boring tasks
Sip 88 swallow
Sip 89 swallow
Sip 90 swallow
Family – two up two down – pastel colours
Henpecked by unfaithful wife
Bullied by ungrateful offspring
Repetitive routines, no joy, no life
Sip 140 swallow
Sip 141 swallow
Sip 142 swallow
Eyes drooping – vision a darkening corridor
Sinking back onto soft white pillow
No hassles – freedom from decision
Peace at last.